miss him

assalamualaikum,
ari ni aq blk maktab. aq cuti 6 ari sempenea hari rye aidil adha. mcm biase, blk cuti kli ni, aq still nk uji diri aq. aq nak test diri aq sme ade aq bole hdup tnpa die ataupun x.. setiap ari aq menanti mcj dr die.. tp die x mcj2 pun.. setiap ari aq bkk fb, dgn harapan aq nak die online.. aq nak chat dgn die.. tp sedihnye, spnjg cuti ni, setiap kli aq online, die msti x online. aq x dpt khabar berita ape pun dr die.. smpikn aq sanggup buat latihan chemistry. aq yakin, msti ade soalan yg aq x leh buat, bole aq kol die n tnye die.. hahahaha.. ' mission succeeded'. betapa aq rndu gle kt die.. rndu aq kat die hnye Allah je tahu.. kalaulah aq ade kuasa utk bg tawu die, da lme aq bg tawu die.. tp aq mcm sedih gak ar, die mcm x rndu lgsung kat aq je?? biarla, Allah je yg tahu.. this proved tht, i cn't live without him..

unexpected

SUMPAH!! something unexpected happened.. terkejut gle. sblm ni kn shafi ade send mcj kat aq yg die nak stop mcj. yes, aq mengaku, mmg aq ade rse rndu kat die sbb da lme x mcj. tp aq kawal perasaan aq n aq yakin akn ade suatu ari yg indah buat aq. aq x prnh expect yg die akn mcj aq lg. guess what, mlm smlm, DIE MCJ AQ!!.. axcited, happy, teruja, sume ade. x terkata. ni mcj yg die bg kat aq,

shafi : "my heart, u stole it, took it away, n with u it still remains. breathless i am, from the very first time, ur two crystal like eyes connected with mine.. but alas, who am i but lowly dreamer, helplessly weak, hoping for the we both find each other, what am i to do but dream.." i dedicated this poem to you.. act i hav smething to tell u,, smeyhing i hav been keeping from u before..

aq hnye mampu tersenyum je spnjg mlm. teragak-agak jgkla aq nak bls mcj die sbb i have promised myself not to text him. tmrw mrning, aq bgn lmbt.. sedar2, pkul 5.37 a.m.. aq bgn je trus aq dpt mcj dr die..

shafi : wana, shafi's here.. actually i want to ask u a favor, lets act like nothing happened. i really want us to stay friends.. thanks..

dr mcj yg die bg 2, aq rse, di tkut yg aq akn fkir bkn2 psl die. tp aq x fkir ape2 pun. hepi lg ade la..hehehehe.. aq still x bls mcj die. aq nak suatu ari yg indah brlaku dlm hdup aq n time tu dunia ni, kami berdua yg punye.. FINA's world..

big apple

assalamualaikum,
spatutnye minggu ni, sume student bole blik. tp, aq x bg tawu mak aq pun yg bole blik. aq x nak sshkn mak aq lgpun aq nak study, spm da dkt. tbe2 aq rse kepunan big apple plk. aq nak sgt big apple tu. aq ajk musyi outing. tp warden ckp spe yg x blik, x leh outing kecuali dgn parents. pg tu, aq da mcm berserah gle ar x dpt outing. time aq merungut tu, aq kat kelas, x tawu la shafi dgr ke x yg aq kepunan big appla. tbe2 die ckp yg die outing ari ni, pstu aq dgn mke msmnye tnye, ' ape kaitannye?'. die kata, 'maybe aq bole tumpang die g tesco'. aq terus senyum. aq terus lati minx tndatgn ckgu awie. aq blik blok, trus gosok bju batik smbil senyum, x terkata. tp cuak gak sbb ble tumpang parents die, msti akn jmpe mak n ayh die. cuak gle kot. NERVOUS, HUHU...
x lme lps tu, mak die smpi, aq takut gle. dlm kereta, aq senyap je. mak die tanye sepatah, aq jwb sepatah. mak die tnye, aq tggl kat mne, mak keje ape, ayh keje ape.. aq takut sgt. dlm kete, aq senyap je tp aq ade trfikir, aq x prnh cium mak aq mcm shafi cium mak die. teruja kot. klu aq jmpe mak aq pun, aq akn salam je. ush, sumpah, aq tabik gle die kot. aq nak sgt die jd milik aq. die sgt mghormati org tua. smpi je tesco, kami brpisah. kami jln asing2. tp yg x leh belanye, msuk kfc sme2. kebetulan gle, aq da cuak da. aq tkut gle mak die ckp mcm2 psl aq. ptg tu aq tnye mursyi, 'shafi ade ckp ape2 psl sy ke?'. mursyi ckp ade, aq excited gle nak tawu. mak die ckp, 'rangka bdn aq bsr', shafi pun terkejut. mak die ckp, ' rangka aq sme mcm rangka bdn mak die time mde2. die ckp, rangka aq ble da ade anak nnt, bdn aq akn bsr mcm mak die skrang. mak die ckp lg, dlm kete aq senyap je, mursyi yg byk ckp. nsib baek shafi back up, die kata maybe sbb aq malu kot. jealous gak ar sbb mak die byk ckp psl mursyi.. x pe la, yg pasti, aq hepi, finally dpt jgk jmpe mak die. x ksh la ape pun mak die nak ckp, yg pnting, 'this is me'.

i'm going to australia

sejak 2 menjak ni, aq selalu nmpk shafi sibuk uruskan the track yg die bole follow utk course yg die nak amek. aq selalu dgr die kol ayh n mak die berbincang psl the track yg trbaek utk die. jealous aq tgk die. ye la, bdk pndi, nk apply scholarship ape2 pun bole.

ari ni, time prep mcm biase, aq msuk klas, sume org tgh bising. aq dduk tmpt aq. the, shafi dtg kat aq. he said, ' i'm going to australia'. aq angguk je, x tawu nak ckp ape. tp spe tahu, dlm aty aq sedih sgt. agk2 bole ke kteorg brsme nnt. x ke die akn jmpe org yg lbih steraf dgn die. silap2, die x pndg aq da. ye la, aq blaja kat malaysia je. sedih jgk ar ble aq fikirkn bnde ni, smpi aq sndiri pun x leh fokus study time prep mlm td. tp, aq akn sntiasa doakan yg trbaek utk die.

talk

since jumaat lepas, bdk form 4 mktb aq ade kem kepimpinan. ade ekspedisi dari luar dtg mktb aq nak bg talk. head of ekspedisi tu, kteowg pggl die acik. spnjg 3 ari 2 mlm die kat sini, die bkn bg talk kt bdk kem je, tp kat kteowg yg x terlibat dlm kem tu pun die bg talk. byk die bg ceramah. aq terasa byk sgt dosa aq kat Allah. bru aq sedar, aq memandang ringan dosa yg kecil. aq selalu mghalalkan benda yg tetap haram. aq nangis, aq rse malu sgt dgn Allah. aq malu dgn laki2 kat mktb ni. aq byk mnjatuhkn maruah aq sbgi seorang pompuan. aq begitu murah membiarkn laki melepaskan nafsunya. Ya Allah, byknye dosa aq. aq mle muhasabah diri aq. Ya Allah, bantu hambamu ini, aq sedar yg selama ni aq mcj dgn shafi dn bermesra dgn die adalah satu dosa besar wlupun kteowg x couple, sekaligus, aq dah menyebabkn ibu bapa aq terjerumus ke lembah neraka.. aq terasa, aq anak yg x gne. aq jnji lps ni, aq x akn ulangi dosa yg plg besar aq pernah buat kat dunia ni. aq berjnji dgn diri aq, aq x akn bnrkn mne2 laki mncuri hati aq dari Allah. aq akn jge prgaulan aq dgn laki, aq akn jge pndgn aqdan juga tgkh laku aq. aq akn mle jge hbgn aq dgn Allah. aq x kn lyn mne2 laki atau mcj mahupun kol mne2 laki kecuali utk tujuan tertentu. yg plg aq rse lega, esoknye aq terima mcj dr shafi..

shafi : wana, i think, this would be the last mcj from me. it doesn't mean, we can't contact anymore. we still have fb, skype. i would to say sorry if i had done wrong to you or hurt u. i'm sory. gud luck for ur spm.

mle2, aq bce mcj tu mmg sedih. aq hampir nangis tapi aq tahan. aq ckp kat diri aq, 'jgn nangis dsebabkan seorang lelaki. klu aq ade jodoh dgn die, ade la.'

lepak2

smlm time prep, shafi dduk sblh aq.. kteowg gelak mcm kwn biase.. kami berkongsi cerita.. best jgk la.. bkn sng nak sembang dgn die wlupun clssmate.. lps minum pagi, aq dtg klas.. shafi pun dtg klas. suddenly irfan dtg bwk guitar. smbil sembang dgn aq, shafi main guitar. teruja kot tgk die main guitar.. pstu aq tnye syed

wana : syed, coklat ats meja shafi tu spe punye?
syed : shafi punye, minx die
wana : syed, tnyekn shafi, aq nak coklat tu. aq tkut nk tnye die
syed : shafi, wana ckp, die nak coklat tu.. die tkut nk bg tawu ko
shafi : bkn ko tawu ke coklat tu utk spe
syed : a'ah la, soklat tu utk stalky la wana
wana : :(
shafi : alalala, okla, bg hadiah lgu la

tawu x, die nyanyikan utk aq lgu 1234.bkn die je yg nyanyi, bani, irfan n syed pun nyanyi skali.. aq da blushing gle ar time tu.. yg klakarnye, ble part 'i love u', sume senyap.. nak tergelak pun ade, tp mmg best gle ar. TERUJA SIOT!!!!
mlm tu ade e-night.. shafi perform dgn bani, irfan n syed lagu 'i'm yours'.. syok abis ar

annual dinner

smlm, annual dinner. spnjg ari aq ckp kat diri aq, 'the nite would be the best nite i ever had in my life'. mlm tu, aq msuk je dewan, mood aq tbe2 brubh. aq pun pelik, aq rse x sedap hati. i feel like theres smething gonna happen but what is it??.. shafi perform on stage pun aq mcm x de rse ape2.. btw, he looks perfect n great.
abis je mjlis tu, aq dduk je tmpt aq tgk org sekeliling.. yg plg aq tenung lme, 'hassan n farah'. they look like a sweet couple. hassan bg bunga kat farah. terdetik dlm aty aq, farah was very lucky to have hassan as her prince charming. aq dduk je diam tgk sume org amek gmbr dgn baju yg sgt cantik.. dalam aty aq tertanya-tanya, ' mne shafi ni?? die x nak jmpe aq ke? die x nak amek gmbr dgn aq ke?.. mlm tu aq nmpk die, aq pndg je die lme2, serba slh plk aq nak pegi kat die. x gentle la klu aq pegi kat die, suppose to be die cri aq.
smpi je blok, aq mcj die..

wana : btul ke u x nmpk i lgsung?
shafi : btul la, i pun x tawu u pki bju ape n color ape..

lg la aq sedih, lps tu aq trus kol die sbb die kata die nak bg tawu smething. mle2 die x nak cite sbb die tkut nnt aq lg sedih, tp dsbbkn aq nak sgt tawu, aq jnji dgn die yg aq x kn sedih klu dgr cite tu..
die ckp, time die kat mrsm felda trolak, die sempat kol mak die. then, mak die ckp,

shafi's mom : epi, lg 5 minggu je nak spm, focus belajar, jgn mcj2 da, stop message for a while.

shafi rse mcm ape yg mak die ckp tu pun ade btulnye jgk. die ckp kat aq die nak stop message dgn aq. aq senyap je, tergamam, terkejut, sume ade.. aq trus ckp

wana : em, x pela, bye..

lps je aq ltk telefon air mata aq mengalir, aq menangis x henti2. sedih yg teramat sgt. nsib baek ade musyi. musyi la yg pujuk aq..